Driving Home
by anakinlove
Summary: "Batman, i'm hungry and i'm bored. Can we go to McDonalds, I want a chicken Mcnugget." "No, we are not going to McDonalds." "Please,Please Please Please Please." "Alright, fine i'll take you to Mcdonalds if it'll keep your mouth shut for ten minutes."


Batman was driving back from a long patrol, itching to get home. They were still a little ways away. Robin was napping in the back seat. Batman was preying the nine year old wouldn't wake up before he had a chance to get home. He caused problems when he wasn't sleeping.

Unfortunately, the fates were not with Batman that day and when he turned around to check on Robin again, he saw the boy beginning to open his eyes. Batman froze. What was he going to do now? Should he try to put the boy back to sleep or see if he would go back to sleep on his own? He did not act as soon as he should have, however, and already it was too late. Batman heard a whiny little voice come from the back seat.

"Batman, I'm hungry." Batman decided he would handle the situation with patience.

"We're almost home Robin", Batman said.

"How far away", Robin asked.

"In terms of your time?"

"Mmm hmm."

"About eight Spongebob's (a single Spongebob episode is about fifteen minutes)."

"No" Robin moaned, "I can't wait that long, I'm hungry now."

"You can wait", Batman grumbled. About five minutes later, Robin again piped up in a little irritating voice that seemed to boar holes into Batman's brain after a long day of crime fighting.

"How far away are we now?"

"Still about eight Spongebob's away."

"No", Robin wailed, "I'm so hungry, I want food."

"Use that yoga technique I taught you", Batman said, desperately trying to figure something out for his ward to do. Robin reluctantly tried the deep breathing technique as Batman had instructed, but two minutes later whined,

"Batman it's not working and now I'm bored and hungry." Batman's hands clinched around the wheel. Robin was really trying his patience. Why hadn't he hit him with some sleeping gas when he had the chance?

"Why don't you count cars?" Batman asked.

"That's lame", Robin said, "You're lame. This car is lame. You should have gotten one of those snazzy DVD players installed so I could watch Phineas and Ferb while we drove."

"I'd rather cut off my head and feed it to a pack of lizards."

"Ohh, come on Batman, its not that bad."

"Platypus's don't wear hats", Batman said angrily.

"Perry does", Robin grumbled, folding his arms and sitting down deep in the seat. Batman was thinking that perhaps God was on his side today and Robin was going to be quiet for the rest of the trip when the silence was again broken.

"This is the song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. This is the song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes."

"Robin", Batman yelled, "stop it or I swear I won't let you watch Adventure Time for a week."

"Aww, come on Batman, I am so bored."

"Then be quiet and look out the window."

After a few more minutes, Robin asked "Where are we?"

"We're entering Hazel right now."

"Ooo", Robin said, "that means we're only about one Spongebob away from a McDonalds. Ohh Batman, can we go to McDonalds, please, I want a Mcnugget."

"No", said Batman, "I hate their food."

"Please", said Robin, "I really want chicken Mcnuggets."

"No", said Batman, "you are not getting chicken Mcnuggets. I am not going to have a fat Robin and that's final."

"Please, please, please, please, please, please, please."

"Fine", Batman snapped, "if it'll keep your mouth closed for ten minutes, I will get you a Mcnuggets."

000000

"Welcome to McDonalds, how may I help you?"

"Yea, I'd like a diet coke…"

"Yuck, don't get diet, it's gross."

"You don't get any anyway so why do you care?"

"Yea, ok so one large diet coke and a happy meal please with Chicken Mcnuggets and apple dippers."

"Aww, Batman I want French fries."

"Too bad", Batman said.

"Will that be all sir?"

"No", Robin whispered into Batman's ear, "I want a chocolate shake."

"No", said Batman, "you are not getting a chocolate shake."

Robin started to scream at the top of his lungs, "I want a chocolate shake."

"Alright, alright", Batman roared, "if you shut up, I'll get you a chocolate shake."

"Hooray", said Robin.

"Ok", said Batman, "add a chocolate shake to that order."

"Right away sir. Will that be all?"

"Yes", said Batman. Robin sat smugly in the back seat as Batman drove up to the drive threw window.

"Here's your order", the woman said, "hey are you the Batman?"

"No", Batman snapped, "I'm King Kong, who the hell do you think I am?" Then, he abruptly drove away.

"That wasn't very nice", Robin said.

"Here's your meal", Batman said, handing him his bag, "Now eat and be quiet." Robin opened the bag and started to cry. "What is it now?" Batman asked.

"They gave me the wrong toy. I didn't want bumblebee, I wanted Optimus Prime. Batman, drive back and exchange it."

"Just eat your meal." Robin started to scream again.

"Bumblebee is lame, I want Optimus."

"Shut up", Batman yelled, "I am not going back to that place and that's final."

0000000

"Hi, I got this Bumblebee toy and I'd like to trade it in for an Optimus Prime, would that be possible?"

"Hmm", said the woman at the counter, "let me see." Robin peeped over the counter, looking innocent.

"People are staring" Batman grumbled to him.

"So what", Robin said.

"Well", said the woman coming back, "we only have Bumblebee and Ironhide left."

"But I want an Optimus", Robin said, tears welling up in his eyes. Batman could see this was not going to be good. Then, he spied a little kid playing with an Optimus toy.

"Hey kid", Batman said, "I'll give you five bucks for that toy."

"Hmm", the kid said, "how about fifty."

"What", said Batman, "I'm not paying fifty bucks for that little piece of junk."

"Take it or leave it", the kid said.

"How about twenty and a batarang."

"Sign the batarang and you've got yourself a deal."

"Alright", said Batman. He took out a batarang and signed it quickly. "Here", he said. "Here Robin." He handed Robin the toy. Robin squealed with delight and clutched his hard won prize while the other kid ran off yelling,

"Look mom, I haggled with Batman."

"Come on Robin", Batman said, "lets get out of here."

00000000

"Zoom, zoom, zoom", Robin said, wheeling the plastic toys around Batman's head.

"Get those out of my face before I throw them out the window", Batman snapped.

"Well", said Robin, "someone's in a bad mood." He munched a Mcnugget and lay down on the seat. He closed his eyes wearily.

"Finally, silence" Batman breathed.

"Batman, how many Spongebob's away are we now? That shake made me thirsty and I'm really bored." Batman started to bang his head against the wheel.


End file.
